| Why is the fish still alive?
and why does it still hurt so bad.... |
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| sometimes i think i'm just not good enough. i guess i just don't do enough for my friends/boyfriends/whatever. Its just never enough. I don't really know how to find someone who's going to help me through things when i need help and let me help them in return. It's just impossible to find someone who is willing to do that all the time and stay with it. I think the person i just described that i need is God. I guess that's all i can look for is Him now.
I give up on everything else. Compared to God, everything else is trivial. It means nothing and it's not worth working for. Oh well, i guess i've made up my mind.
Sadies was ok but it was probably my least favorite dance of all time. Dunno why. Darren's not good for me. Apparently I'm not good for AJ. I don't need guys and they definitely don't need me, which has bee made obvious lately. Oh well.
I know i'll make it. |
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| we're back together
yeah yeah i know don't judge
thanks guys i love you =]
<3Melody |
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| well i know this isn't the traditional way to do it, but i need help and i don't know what else to do really
ya'll are my friends so i'm asking you for your honest advice....
AJ hasn't called me in about a week now...i believe that if someone loves you they wouldn't be able to stand to see you go through pain...you know? he's broken my heart so many times and i just take it and move on...i think i want/need to end it here...
should i break up with him? would that be what's best for now....
i really need your advice so PLEASE comment and let me know
so let's be honest because i am through
breaking my heart as my veins bleed for you |
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| AJ and I are back together for those of you who haven't heard or assumed.
This is getting really hard...I'm either missing him alot or I'm really scared of getting my heart broken again. I'm having alot of trouble trusting him with all of my feelings and now when we don't talk every day I just get paranoid that he's going to stop liking me. I'm scared to talk to him because it might drive him away. I overanalyze these things I know...I'm sure we'll last for a while this time, I mean we only have two months until we can see each other again. I guess I'm just scared.
and i'll find some way
to cut myself open
over and over again
and i'll find some way
to bury it all
so let's be honest because i am through
holding my breath as my lungs breathe for you |
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